Why I Need a Main and You Do Too

#mymain
-Modernized language from "main squeeze:" derived from the main person you confide in. AKA- your best friend.

You've seen it. You've felt it. You've experienced it your whole life. We've made best friends all the way from the sand box to the tiki bar. Thankfully today, we have social media to send tribute to exactly who they are with the perfect filter and the perfect caption. #mymain

Obviously our friendships have evolved throughout our walks from sand pit to mosh pit, but as we face this little thing called life- our friendships evolve into something so significant, so powerful, so medicinal. There are three types of friends in this world. Those who madly depend on everyone for everything, those who think they are almighty and can do everything super solo, and then there are those who are a bit of almighty with a mix of mad. That's what we need to strive to be and this is why.

I've got one word for you. Cortisol.

Basically, your brain has this thing called the hypothalamus and it secretes this annoying little fly called CRH (Corticotropin Releasing  Hormone.) Now, what CRH does is stimulate the anterior pituitary of the brain to release corticotropin- which upregulates cortisol production. Now we are getting somewhere.

Cortisol. The ass hole of the head. Literally and figuratively.
Cortisol, released as a response to stress and low sugar levels has a job to increase blood sugar, suppress the immune system and aid metabolism of fat, protein, and carbs. Also, an abundance of cortisol can slowly dampen the ability of your hippocampus to encode and recall memories.
Long story short, it sends your body on an out of shape marathon sprint and before you know it you need a beer and a protein bar quicker than a shin splint.

So how can we keep from getting too stressed, becoming too weak, sending all memories to the side while eating too many protein bars? Oh, and how can we be happier? Pay close attention.

A study conducted by James Coan, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at The University of Virginia, shows a resulting decrease in stress related activity in the hypothalamus when someone clasps the hand of someone they like.

Another study from the University of North Carolina shows that those who receive frequent hugs present much higher levels of oxytocin- also known as the bonding hormone. This thing makes you feel really secure and trusted.

According to research done at Loma Linda University, the act of anticipating laughter dramatically reduces your cortisol levels by nearly 40%.

Nonetheless, this isn't such a new phenomenon. 2,000 years ago our ancestors wrote:
"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken."
Ecclesiastes 4:12

SO I think it's safe to say we need each other. YES. Swallow it gently. We NEED each other. Science, history, and your heart say so.

Go find your main. Hold hands. Laugh together. Give a hug. Send tribute. #mymain
Life is easier, funnier, and warmer this way.
Now go love on someone.

Say No to YOLO

YOLO. You only live once.
A phrase we all know and love. A phrase we can't wait to slap on a coozie and trot around in our Ray-bans with... living life to the fullest. Well, while we only live once, we only live once. Think about it.

We only get the chance to do certain things, say certain things, meet certain people. So if we realize we only get a few seconds to work with here, why are we so frivolous with them? And most important of all, WHY are we so careless who we experience them with?

Don't get me wrong... I am the first person that will drive an hour for the best smoothie, take off at midnight to the beach, or talk to a random stranger in the parking lot for an hour. But even though I am Pro-rando, I can't help but notice how delicate every "once" really is.

You can think of it this way- A day of soaking up Netflix on the couch is good for the soul- It should actually be in the bible. Restful, meaningless days like this can bring our minds back to life. But while "Thou Shall Netflix"...  have you ever thought about WHO thou are Netflixing with? Like, really really thought about it.

• If it's yourself- good for you. Have a you day and show no mercy. 
• If it's a person who makes your heart beat a little faster- you are lucky. Soak up every single second of it.
• If it is with your best friend- laugh about everything. One true friend is the greatest gift in the world. 
• If it is with your family- notice them. The moment will seem meaningless, yet in a few years it will mean everything. 
• But if one day you find yourself Netflixing with someone who doesn't really see you as "somebody," you might want to change the episode. 

People are the most amazing things. Beyond any flying object or wishing fountain, people are the actual wonders of the world. This is because the people you surround yourself with will do the most amazing things to you. They will make you think twice, they will make you forget, they they will make you shine, they will make you disappear, they will make you weak, they will make you smile. Those who you choose to share your moments with, will change you.

Be careful to always spend time with those who see you as just important as they see themselves. The more important they see you, the better they will treat you. In the end, our moments are memories and our memories stain our hearts. We should always make room for new things, new people, and new places. We should always make room for meaningless days on the couch, soaking up life with every morsel of doughnut powder. But as the nights wear down- think of those who bring meaning to your moments, big or small. Think of how they can change who you are. Think about those who value your existence, envy those who don't want to disappoint you, and respect those who thank you for sharing another priceless moment of your life with them.

Find importance in others and find value in yourself. Be a better you. Be a better Netflix mate. Seriously.

Because of You

Well, it has been quite some time since I have written a few of my courageous thoughts on paper for you all to read. Reasoning.... I have been experiencing so many things daily, my comprehension of it all is a little bit of a blur. WHOA, has it been an awesome ride. 

Since my last post, I have ran a marathon, graduated from the University of Alabama, been a bridesmaid to 4 best friends, and traveled to 8 different European countries- while currently working on my 9th. I have transitioned out of my first big girl job to my second big girl job as a Marketing, creative project manager with a team in Nashville, TN. I co-founded a local "Art with a Green Heart" company and have literally DOVE into the Birmingham, AL music and local arts scene. (Now, do you forgive me?) I am truly moving forward with who I want to be.
All because of you. YES, you.

I have been analyzing, contemplating, meeting, loving, living... with old and new forms of you. I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the amount I have learned and felt from the people who have been in my life the past two years, both near and very far. My love of people has turned into an obsession and it is something that I am insanely proud of. While I still don't have it all together (quite frankly, not sure if I ever will) I am taking steps every day towards a very big, scary new goal of mine.

It is quite obvious that I love to share my thoughts with you, and in turn- hear your thoughts for me. I live by understanding other's struggles and achievements, being inspired that every day can be something new and different and innovative. We live in a lovely world full of ways for me to get to know folks from all different paths. While this is so, along my journey of getting to know you I have had the honor to share many, very difficult stories and lifetime trials that are being faced, similarly all across the world. I can't help but constantly feel these thoughts on my shoulder and I care, so dang much about you.... I just want to sit and contemplate on how to overcome, how to be better, how to find new roses to smell every day to tackle these heavy stories that life sometimes likes to throw our way.

Because of this, because of you, because of me.... I have decided to write a Motivational Book- a "DIY Guide" if you will, of understanding your needs and taking action towards what you want. This guide will include many of YOUR stories that have influenced me the most. So cheers to today and to tomorrow. I hope to make a timeless happy place that both you and I can use and pass on and on and on. I hope you will be patient with me and prayerful that this experience will be positive and uplifting, however these dice may roll. I will be updating and including you on my walk, all the while.

Love y'all,
CM