Sunday, March 1, 2015

You are Perfect




Lately, I've been thinking about all of the reasons why it just doesn't work out sometimes. Everyone has a time when the sun comes up, another page of life is turned, and the story that unfolds is nothing like we ever imagined it. Whatever the story may be, for better or for worse, something we all need to realize is that life is MEANT to be a surprise. Life is supposed to move you, shake you, rattle you into a confused little piece all for the purpose of sweet humility. No matter what we do or how well we prepare our own story, I think at some point we reach this reality show kind of, "OH NO he didn't" moment with God. I like to think of him just sitting up in heaven with a tall glass of sweet tea laughing so hard and shouting, "Child, this is the single moment that will change everything. This moment will change who you are. This is what I have been waiting for."

This week God was just sitting up there sipping, beaming down some cold hard truth that changed me. This is how it went:

Tuesday I stumbled upon this amazing piece of His literature. Psalm 139:16
"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."

It didn't happen immediately, but throughout the week this became crystal clear. For me, I have a daily struggle as a dreamer, a wanderlust, a believer of extraordinary because it seems like in so many ways my thoughts dramatically over exaggerate reality. I want the best, believe in the best, and see only the best. Here comes the intervention.... news flash: 99.9% of our life is time meant for working to accomplish "the best" of us. This rocked me a little, because for those who are constantly striving for the best in a world that is constantly changing, when will there ever be rest?

My answer was in the three sentences of Psalm 139:16. Just because it isn't the best, doesn't mean it isn't perfect. Confusing? Yeah it was for me a little at first. But the more I thought about it the more it made sense. If every single page of our life was written before we ever even took our first breath, that means that day to day- our placement, timing, and situation is PERFECT in exactly the way it is. In our minds this might not be "the best" that our personal expectations have created, but the best is a gift. It happens with perseverance, patience, and kindness. It happens in absolute perfect time because remember- every story was written in permanent ink in preparation for the life we would live.

I like to categorize the group of people in this world that see and expect the best in everything as the healers. Healers bring light to darkness, ideas to problems, positive to negative, blue to gray. In this quirky little conversation "healers" is way too normal so I am going to rename this group the "peelers." Yes, peelers. Why?

Sometimes in the strongest, most available parts of our lives God uses us to peel away layers of doubt, layers of negative, layers of confusion, layers of ordinary in situations that just need some breathing room. Life is all about single moments that make up this really amazing sitcom we are lucky enough to call ours. Unfortunately, some moments are put into in our path for a day, some for a few days, some for three years, and then it's time for the next chapter. People, places, life is made up of layers that are destined to be peeled away by a really amazing situation, a challenging moment, sometimes destined to be peeled away by the simple love of a beautiful soul. For the majority of our lives we are experiencing life by the layer, peeling off pieces bit by bit. Most of those layers reveal another that is meant for someone else. Luckily enough, the first layer is just as important as the last. It may not be the final piece but it is a perfect piece to a perfect story. To your perfect story.

For some of us, our last peel will be much later than others, for some, a lot earlier than most. This life is all about seeing and experience things in God's perfect plan that connects us all into the complete armor of Him. Think about it- it is already written out. Our story is already complete! So let's not sweat it anymore. Let's live each day, make another peel, and celebrate what happens next. Trust the timing of your story, trust the level of your layer, trust that you are the next step to someone's perfection, to your own perfection, to God's perfection. And be insanely proud of that.

All my Love,
CM

Friday, October 17, 2014

Why I Need a Main and You Do Too



#mymain
-Modernized language from "main squeeze:" derived from the main person you confide in. AKA- your best friend.

You've seen it. You've felt it. You've experienced it your whole life. We've made best friends all the way from the sand box to the tiki bar. Thankfully today, we have social media to send tribute to exactly who they are with the perfect filter and the perfect caption. #mymain

Obviously our friendships have evolved throughout our walks from sand pit to mosh pit, but as we face this little thing called life- our friendships evolve into something so significant, so powerful, so medicinal. There are three types of friends in this world. Those who madly depend on everyone for everything, those who think they are almighty and can do everything super solo, and then there are those who are a bit of almighty with a mix of mad. That's what we need to strive to be and this is why.

I've got one word for you. Cortisol.

Basically, your brain has this thing called the hypothalamus and it secretes this annoying little fly called CRH (Corticotropin Releasing  Hormone.) Now, what CRH does is stimulate the anterior pituitary of the brain to release corticotropin- which upregulates cortisol production. Now we are getting somewhere.

Cortisol. The ass hole of the head. Literally and figuratively.
Cortisol, released as a response to stress and low sugar levels has a job to increase blood sugar, suppress the immune system and aid metabolism of fat, protein, and carbs. Also, an abundance of cortisol can slowly dampen the ability of your hippocampus to encode and recall memories.
Long story short, it sends your body on an out of shape marathon sprint and before you know it you need a beer and a protein bar quicker than a shin splint.

So how can we keep from getting too stressed, becoming too weak, sending all memories to the side while eating too many protein bars? Oh, and how can we be happier? Pay close attention.

A study conducted by James Coan, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at The University of Virginia, shows a resulting decrease in stress related activity in the hypothalamus when someone clasps the hand of someone they like.

Another study from the University of North Carolina shows that those who receive frequent hugs present much higher levels of oxytocin- also known as the bonding hormone. This thing makes you feel really secure and trusted.

According to research done at Loma Linda University, the act of anticipating laughter dramatically reduces your cortisol levels by nearly 40%.

Nonetheless, this isn't such a new phenomenon. 2,000 years ago our ancestors wrote:
"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken."
Ecclesiastes 4:12

SO I think it's safe to say we need each other. YES. Swallow it gently. We NEED each other. Science, history, and your heart say so.

Go find your main. Hold hands. Laugh together. Give a hug. Send tribute. #mymain
Life is easier, funnier, and warmer this way.
Now go love on someone.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Say No to YOLO




YOLO. You only live once.
A phrase we all know and love. A phrase we can't wait to slap on a coozie and trot around in our Ray-bans with... living life to the fullest. Well, while we only live once, we only live once. Think about it.

We only get the chance to do certain things, say certain things, meet certain people. So if we realize we only get a few seconds to work with here, why are we so frivolous with them? And most important of all, WHY are we so careless who we experience them with?

Don't get me wrong... I am the first person that will drive an hour for the best smoothie, take off at midnight to the beach, or talk to a random stranger in the parking lot for an hour. But even though I am Pro-rando, I can't help but notice how delicate every "once" really is.

You can think of it this way- A day of soaking up Netflix on the couch is good for the soul- It should actually be in the bible. Restful, meaningless days like this can bring our minds back to life. But while "Thou Shall Netflix"...  have you ever thought about WHO thou are Netflixing with? Like, really really thought about it.

  • If it's yourself- good for you. Have a you day and show no mercy. 
  • If it's a person who makes your heart beat a little faster- you are lucky. Soak up every single second of it.
  • If it is with your best friend- laugh about everything. One true friend is the greatest gift in the world. 
  • If it is with your family- notice them. The moment will seem meaningless, yet in a few years it will mean everything. 
  • But if one day you find yourself Netflixing with someone who doesn't really see you as "somebody," you might want to change the episode. 


People are the most amazing things. Beyond any flying object or wishing fountain, people are the actual wonders of the world. This is because the people you surround yourself with will do the most amazing things to you. They will make you think twice, they will make you forget, they they will make you shine, they will make you disappear, they will make you weak, they will make you smile. Those who you choose to share your moments with, will change you.

Be careful to always spend time with those who see you as just important as they see themselves. The more important they see you, the better they will treat you. In the end, our moments are memories and our memories stain our hearts. We should always make room for new things, new people, and new places. We should always make room for meaningless days on the couch, soaking up life with every morsel of doughnut powder. But as the nights wear down- think of those who bring meaning to your moments, big or small. Think of how they can change who you are. Think about those who value your existence, envy those who don't want to disappoint you, and respect those who thank you for sharing another priceless moment of your life with them.

Find importance in others and find value in yourself. Be a better you. Be a better Netflix mate. Seriously.



Sunday, May 25, 2014

Because of You



Well, it has been quite some time since I have written a few of my courageous thoughts on paper for you all to read. Reasoning.... I have been experiencing so many things daily, my comprehension of it all is a little bit of a blur. WHOA, has it been an awesome ride. 

Since my last post, I have ran a marathon, graduated from the University of Alabama, been a bridesmaid to 4 best friends, and traveled to 8 different European countries- while currently working on my 9th. I have transitioned out of my first big girl job to my second big girl job as a Marketing, creative project manager with a team in Nashville, TN. I co-founded a local "Art with a Green Heart" company and have literally DOVE into the Birmingham, AL music and local arts scene. (Now, do you forgive me?) I am truly moving forward with who I want to be.
All because of you. YES, you.

I have been analyzing, contemplating, meeting, loving, living... with old and new forms of you. I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the amount I have learned and felt from the people who have been in my life the past two years, both near and very far. My love of people has turned into an obsession and it is something that I am insanely proud of. While I still don't have it all together (quite frankly, not sure if I ever will) I am taking steps every day towards a very big, scary new goal of mine.

It is quite obvious that I love to share my thoughts with you, and in turn- hear your thoughts for me. I live by understanding other's struggles and achievements, being inspired that every day can be something new and different and innovative. We live in a lovely world full of ways for me to get to know folks from all different paths. While this is so, along my journey of getting to know you I have had the honor to share many, very difficult stories and lifetime trials that are being faced, similarly all across the world. I can't help but constantly feel these thoughts on my shoulder and I care, so dang much about you.... I just want to sit and contemplate on how to overcome, how to be better, how to find new roses to smell every day to tackle these heavy stories that life sometimes likes to throw our way.

Because of this, because of you, because of me.... I have decided to write a Motivational Book- a "DIY Guide" if you will, of understanding your needs and taking action towards what you want. This guide will include many of YOUR stories that have influenced me the most. So cheers to today and to tomorrow. I hope to make a timeless happy place that both you and I can use and pass on and on and on. I hope you will be patient with me and prayerful that this experience will be positive and uplifting, however these dice may roll. I will be updating and including you on my walk, all the while.

Love y'all,
CM




Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Free Falling


"Highway 280 Love" Photo By: Cassie McCay
What an amazing life we live.
4/27/11 allowed me to witness a true miracle that many search for a lifetime. Within the past 3 months I have been able to visually follow the transformation of lives through this miracle, unlike the majority of others that unfortunately have the limited capability of witnessing this type of thing through the communication grape vine. This experience has happened so quick, so true, so passionately. Because of this miracle I can now say that I have a brand new, sweeter taste for things and a brand new concentration on my relationships.
Do you ever feel yourself changing, almost free falling, so much that you want to sit back because things are happening so fast they take your breath away? I have experienced that many more times than one upon this adventure that I claim as my life throughout the past year. Following up from the previous post about my journey through the devastating natural tornado disaster of 4/27/11, I have began to train myself to look at things differently than before. As I have always been one to overanalyze and overexaggerate I can finally recognize this as a gift rather than a burden. I have taken this characteristic of mine and of course, analyzed my ability to analyze and have figured out one main thing- inner peace is the resolution.
Today I find myself at a new inner peace and half way through the summer with so many memories and life lessons accumulated. Reflecting upon this past year, I can honestly say that God must have known I was emotionally at my toughest of tough because it surely has been a roller coaster. When I say rollar coaster, I mean the happiest, combined with some of the saddest times that I can ever remember. Without a doubt, God finally allowed me to find my big girl pants to put on for the ride. The inner peace that I have accumulated has been directly connected to my adventure on 4/27/11. From this day, I have witnessed and listened to so many stories of involvement and dedication towards recovering our state of Alabama from its uprooting. While these stories are overflowing with compassion, by surrounding myself with them they continue to spill over on me like hot coffee and wake me up to “smell the roses” as they say. What a sweet, sweet smell.
I have found my roses and try to count them daily and pay close attention to their growth. Explanation:
I have paid close attention to those who influence me to be better and begin to truly focus on their lives and their personal connection to my own. I have realized that the people who grant me the largest influence are those who encourage me to be me, who truly have no preference or judgement towards the way I think or analyze or perform or walk or talk or even eat. I have noticed that relaxing and leaning on these influences allow me to be at peace with myself which in turn allows me to be at peace with the future beyond my control. I have began to understand that the more I encorporate this positivity and peaceful understanding into my life, the more relaxed I become towards my past, present, and future. My goals for the near and far future are to keep these relationships as close to my mind and heart as possible and to support and appreciate them as individuals to my greatest ability. I know my support will securely bond this new peace I have found and allow me to continue admiring the roses that grow around me.
Cheers to inner peace.

Cheerful, Encouraged, Focused,
Cassie Olien McCay

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Beginning- A Restoration of Champions

I began my blogging passion last summer at a state of adventure while traveling to Ghana, Africa. My goal from that experience was to document how my life changed as I explored a new world. This summer brings me to a whole new place in my life. This place is very new and fresh and speaks to me differently every single day. This place in my life has me soaking up every single breathe, every single moment as a new gift.

This is the documentation of the beginning and the progress of my growing passion for life.

Words cannot describe this past month. I am going to try my best.
It has been a month minus three days since the April 27, 2011 tornados hit Alabama the beautiful. While rubbage lies in piles along the storm’s path of destruction, a flower out of the midst takes a peek and reminds me that everything will be ok.
I begin to count the minutes of my day on April 27th. I will always remember them like I remember the day God saved me, my first best friend, my first love. All of these days, all of these firsts, changed my life forever. The events of April 27th in Tuscaloosa, Alabama changed my life forever.
A Junior at The University of Alabama, my day began with a nervous strain as I had a major Management final to ace so that I could pull a B in the class. Stress was not the word to describe it. All week I had been getting texts from my mother Gail Yarbrough, telling me of a “superstorm” that will be passing through the state. This was the only detail of storm warning that I had experienced all week, as I had been practically in a solemn world of my own preparing for my six finals that faced me throughout the next two weeks. Television, radio, Facebook, anything that would connect me with warning was the last thing from my mind at this point. The child instinct of mine told me she was overexaggerating. My… oh, my… was that false. During the final I was reminded of this text as Professor Bachrach informed the class that we may have to stay afterwards as we were expecting a tornado siren. Thankfully, we were in the safest room in the building so we could just stay put. We all frantically grabbed our test papers and piled up to the front of the classroom away from our normal seating arrangements to make room for more students to join us during the siren. The closeness of my fellow classmates was comforting… as a strange feeling of fear began to overcome my stress. Was this “superstorm” real? No... surely not. Just a normal tornado siren to alert a normal thunderstorm was my conclusion. I finished my test and was stress free.
Leaving, I called my dear friend Mallory Mckenzie to plan our study date together… who little did I know would be my angel in distress for the rest of the evening. Walking down University boulevard felt amazing. A cool breeze gave me the fresh air to clear my head for another long night of studying. Mallory answered my call and I met her in front of Reese Pheifer. We walked together to discuss our night. Should we study at our place? Should we continue our study date at Panera? Panera we decided. If the weather was really going to become that serious we could always resort to home.
At Panera we sat joking over our Advertising study guide and soup. “This may be the last dinner we have, at least we can have it together,” Mallory joked. Little did we know this sentence meant so much more than we had realized.
The manager of Panera greeted us suddenly with his Android weather satellite informing us that we may have to retreat to the bathroom soon. “A tornado has been spotted on the ground near Skyland Boulevard,” he gracefully warned. He walked away and all me and Mallory could do was jokingly plan our getaway with the bagels behind the counter. This happens in Tuscaloosa ALL the time. No way is this serious. Another exaggeration led us to continue our chit chat and soup. Ten minutes passed, the sirens rang, and off to the bathroom with our sweets teas we went. While in the bathroom my phone began to ring consistently and messages of conern began to pour in. Text after text I sent “ I’m Ok, im in the bathroom at Panera, I’m ok.” “Why is everyone being so persistent? “I began to wonder. After about the 10th text… my heart began to pound. Something isn’t right. An old couple to my left began to joke about how funny it was they were drinking their frappachino in the bathroom. It made us all laugh… and got our mind off the drama for a split second. The next thing we knew the power was off and some brave souls of the Panera bathroom peeked out the hallway to the window to see what was happening beyond the walls. “It is right behind us, we see it twist,” we heard outside the door. The brave souls came back inside the bathroom, flushed, and wide eyed, “You have to see this,” they instructed. I dropped to my knees, held Mallory’s arm, my body began to shake, and my heart began to pray. “Surely not,” I thought. A small vibration surrounded us and before we knew it, everything went silent and calm. “We are in the eye of the storm,” a guy spoke and laughed aloud. A feeling of truth overcame me. “This is real,” I thought…. Still shaking. Minutes passed with no sound and Mallory and I finally got enough courage to get off the floor and venture into the dining area to take our personal evaluation of the storm. We peeked out the glass to see twigs and tossed chairs. Calmness overcame me finally. We are ok.
As about 30 minutes passed, we stayed within the comfort of the Panera walls, as nobody knew if everything was surely cleared. Three extremely comforting calls came in from Justin Hays, my mother, and Jonathan Hicks as all phones were only receiving few connections. I assured everyone that I was ok and everything was perfect. Little did I know what I was about to experience. Everything was not ok. Everything was not perfect. Me and Mallory looked out the front door and took a quick glance at our vehicles that sat side by side. They were in perfect place. Mallory stood on the chair and looked further to our left. “What IS that,” she sighed. I grabbed her and we ran outside. To the left of the mall in the distance all we could see was brown. It was the most confusing sight of my life. I grabbed Mallory and said, “Let’s go.”
We continued walking down the sidewalk with some friends from the bathroom. The further we went the more we saw. A call came in from my god child’s mother Aymie Self who was two hours away and had already saw the storm path on television. She asked if I was ok and all I could seem to reply was “I am ok by a miracle, this is so bad I have to go, I love you.”
We ended up about 50 yards away at the end of the mall strip and I broke down. Tears and shaking overcame me as Mallory grabbed and held me tight. “This is so bad, this is so bad, Mallory,” I yelled. My vision, blurred with tears, was of a street known as 15th- a street that I had celebrated many football games, a street I went to after almost every workout to grab a burrito, a street that I have driven time after time with friends on summer days with the windows down singing the songs of life. Let me try to begin to describe the events after this vision of what was, 15th.
Signs were flattened into metal poles, houses were crumbled into broken boards, businesses were non-existent, cars were overturned, police were frantic, people were walking with bags of clothes in ¬hand… gallons of water in arm. Tattered clothes, scratched and tear stained faces were walking for shelter. “This is hell on Earth,” I thought to myself.
We all began to walk down 15th to help with what we could manage but the police began to inform us that there was another storm on the way. As these words were spoke, everyone fled the streets… we will never, ever, take a warning slightly again.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a friend I have not seen in almost a year. Sarah Orr screamed my name outside of her boyfriend’s truck window. She waved with her mouth open, her face as white as snow. I waved back at her, excited and comforted to see another loving, familiar face and to know that another one of my dear friends living in town was safe. “I can’t believe this Sarah, it is so good to see your face,” I yelled back at her. Off she sped through the rubble of 15th. It all felt like a bad dream now.
Walking back to Panera Bread I tried to hold it together as another friend and neighbor of mine Chris Beard called. “Are you ok, is our place ok? I just pulled Brittany and Michael out of a shower in Planet Fitness. It was all that was left.” I lost it, again. Chris said, “I love you, and I am glad you are safe.” It was a miracle that his call came through and his kind voice was a blessing. The walk to Panera seemed like a mile long as we passed tear glazed families walking to anywhere that would take them in for shelter.
We arrived at Panera once again. The doors were unlocked and were welcomed by friendly faces. As we gathered around bagels and apple juice, we began to soak in some of the survival stories from those not so fortunate to be with us in the floor of the cold Panera bathroom that afternoon. Every story of survival tore at my heart. I felt like I was in the midst of a miracle. At that very moment I received a call from my mother histerically crying. In desperation she asked if I was ok. At my positive reply, she informed me that my granny and grandfather Aldridge’s home was taken that live almost two hours away. My step-brother Michael Yarbrough pulled them out of their rubble. My grandfather Raymond was injured and on the way to the hospital in an ambulance. These sentences broke my heart into a thousand pieces. I had never felt so out of control and at that moment, I told my mother I had to go to gather myself. She replied, “I’m sorry, I love you, I need to be there and I can’t. I can’t sit here.”
The mall was being evacuated of non-workers because of the fear of a gas leak that could not be controlled at the present time. Scared and confused, me and Mallory exchanged hugs and promised to call each other when we arrived home.
A drive that usually takes me 10 minutes took me two hours. Out of about a hundred calls, two went through. I have never been so thankful. Comforting calls from my dear friends Justin and Jonathan kept me calm while driving through a back road, praying that my gas wouldn’t run out as I drove under broken powerlines and stripped oak trees across my path. Much of this time I spent deep in thought… listening to chain saws already assessing the damage and overhearing conversations from families on the streets. My focus and sanity remained on getting to my roommates and home to assure that everything was safe.
Pulling into my home of The Retreat was an amazing comfort. Nothing within my neighborhood was damaged and as I parked and ran to the clubhouse of our community I finally got in touch with my father. Afterwards I ran into my roommate, a best friend, and an employee Amy Hicks helping residents outside. As an employee of The Retreat as well, I managed to aid in cleaning out our refrigerators for hungry residents in pajamas surrounding the living room of the clubhouse so that nothing would go to waste. It became a feast of cake and rice from the employee potluck dinner from the night before. The rest of the night I spent in candlelight with my dear friends and co-workers in the living room of house 166 with the windows open and enjoyed the post storm breeze as we laughed and celebrated each other’s presence. At about midnight I walked to my house, lit a candle, and resorted to the only form of successful communication that I had…Facebook. I searched for all of my friend’s status updates to ensure everyone I knew was safe. Thankfully, a miracle led all of my close friends and family in Tuscaloosa free from harm. For the first time in my life I thanked my precious creater for a safe bed and a roof over my head.
April 27th had came to an end, but its aftermath would bring many obstacles to follow. This was the beginning to a brand new appreciation for life. This was the beginning of a challenge that would change the ways of thousands of hungry souls. This was the beginning to a restoration of a town of champions.
God Bless Alabama.
More to come…

Safe, Humbled, Prayerful,
Cassie Olien McCay